Sabado, Mayo 19, 2012

essay :)


I do not know how it started, how I have decided to pursue a medical career. It was something that my parents instilled in my mind that I have to be but then developed into something I want to be. I am  Secret currently a pre-med student and a future doctor.
During my grade school years, our teacher would always ask the class what we want to be when we grow up and I would say, “I want to be a doctor and help the people” which is a very cliché answer. It was always like that but growing up means exploring different things. To stay in that one dream that until then I did not know why I wanted it, was something impossible. I developed interests in other things. One day after watching the movie Armageddon I had dreamed of becoming an astronaut. I really paid attention when the topic in science class would be about space and I think seeing the earth on the windows of a spacecraft is really exciting and very enjoying. I also thought of becoming a Math major. I love math, and taking a course with a lot of Math subjects would be very fun. I also want to become a pilot, a businesswoman, an archaeologist and many more. But by being interested in something would never be enough to make me decide the future I want to have. I may have a lot of professions I wanted to be in mind but only the medical career stands out among them. Taking the path of being a physician was not something that popped out overnight. It is rather a product of deep thinking and realization.
One reason is money. I would be a hypocrite if I say I never thought about that. The career of being a doctor can give you job security and offer high pays than any jobs out there. But is this enough to stay? When I was in my senior year in high school, even though I had decided to take a pre-medical course in college I was still confused if I really wanted to pursue it. I chose it half-heartedly and the main reason was I could earn a lot of money here. I liked biology but it was not the same as I had loved math at that time. I tried the BS Biology program in my current university but to no luck I became a no-course student. I was waiting at that time for a degree program to open and when the BS Public Health program still had an open slot, I grabbed that chance. To be honest, I had no idea what public health is. I did not know what I am getting myself into. I do researches and asked people around me and I was really happy that this program is what I was looking for. It was as if it is a blessing in disguise to be not accepted in the biology program. The courses I took during my 4 years of education in public health program made me more interested in the aspects of life sciences and public health. My liking to this topic matured to love. As I learned more about life, the need to explore and know more about it increases. The miracle of life is a subject I want to know deeply than any other things. It amazes me how life works and how complicated it is, from the simple organisms like bacteria to complex organisms like us. It was there that I developed the passion for knowledge. Being aware in the health issues and problems faced by the country today, the desire in me to pursue a career that may help to improve the health status of our country, increases.
Taking the path of being a doctor is a lot of challenge and never easy. First is the education program to be accomplished. The first four years will be spent on pre-medical education and another five years for the proper medical education. Further study and training must also be accomplished for specialization. Being a pre-med student, I can say that taking this medical career path is tough. There are sleepless nights and stress brought about by exams and researches done. There are times when depression hit me especially regarding academic stuffs. One semester in my junior year, I happened to have a lot of almost failing grades than I expected. It was the worst semester in my whole college years. I only had this one chance to prove I deserve to receive a passing grade, that one chance I cannot throw away. I studied hard and I never gave up. That is one thing I am proud of myself, I never give up. Whatever the situation I am in, even with little chance I have, I will continue to do what I believe and to achieve what I want to attain. I take challenges head on. I believe that all the trials I had and will be encountered will not only help me achieve the future I want to be but will also shape me as an individual. Studying for consecutive exams plus many requirements to be completed taught me how to manage my time properly. I am still halfway in pursuing medical education and I know there are more problems and issues to be faced in the future. It may not be the same as I experienced, may be worse than previous, but I know everything has a purpose. Time will also be risked. The hours of my life I will have to give up to study or to do medical school requirements rather than being with family and friends. 
I may have lots of things I want to accomplish in life but there is one thing I am sure of, I wanted to become a doctor. My first reasons I pursued this may be for job security but as time goes by, I have realized the essence of being a healthcare professional. It is all about the passion of one in promoting health and preventing disease for the good of the public. In 10 years, I am starting to build my name in the medical field. I know that I will not only learn about knowledge but also virtues regarding medical and public health care in my medical school and this will be my baseline in creating my own name in this field. I am an anesthesiologist responsible for the caring of my patients before and after the surgical operation, driven and self-motivated to work long hours in the service of others. I envision myself to be a doctor with character and have passion for public health care. I see myself creating a mark in the health sector making positive changes and will make a difference in this world through the knowledge the institution have provided me both in my pre medical and medical years. Career is one part of my life and in 10 years I also want to be focusing in another side of my dream, to have a happy family. I may also start building my own family if fate allows and if ever that happened I am sure that I will be a person to balance both my career and family. 

Fan girling - ICHIGO KUROSAKI :)

Ichigo Kurosaki - one of my anime crushes! :)

 Unless I grip the sword, I can not protect you. While gripping the sword I can not embrace you 
I’m not Superman. So I can’t say anything big like I’ll protect everyone on Earth. I’m not a modest guy who will say it’s enough if I can protect as many people as my two hands can handle either. I want to protect… a mountain-load of people.



You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them. 

"It's meaningless to just live, it's meaningless to just fight. I want to win!" 

If fate is a millstone, then we are the grist. There is nothing we can do. So I wish for strength. If I cannot protect them from the wheel, then give me a strong blade, and enough strength... to shatter fate

 "A way of dealing with you? I haven't had a way of dealing with anyone so far. I just defeated them because I had to defeat them. That's all there is to it. You may be a different level than the other Espada, but I don't give a shit. It's the same. If I have to beat you, then I'll beat you. That's all there is to it."

“I came this far to save you. It doesn’t matter if you say you wanna face the death penalty…I’m gonna save you even if I have to drag you away!From this point on, all your opinions are rejected! Got that, dumbass?” 
Duhhh who would have not fall to Ichigo's damn sexiness! his hotness when fighting those villains! his orange hair! his facial expressions! His caring nature - protecting those around him! Mapa-casual wear, uniform,  shinigami wear everything! HE IS SO DAMN HOT! mga hormones mo raging! :))) kahit hollow sya ang hot pa din nya lalo na nung long hair! ay grabsss! tapossss nasa kanya na ang lahat, matalino, sporty, malakas, mabait, hot! everythinggggg! :) Kaya nga si Inoue deads na deads eh! kainis lang, akin kaya si ichigo! HAHA. :) DI BA DI BA! Can you understand meee? Pag lumalaban sya, I cant help myself to shout coz kinikilig akoooo ang hot nya lumaban! hohohohoho. fan girling nga ehh! eh anu kung anime character sya, eh pinapasaya nya ako habang pinapanuod ko sya eh! I love the action! my ghaddd! Ichigo, papagawa ako ng character kay Tite Kubo, ako ang magiging future wife mo! <3 K whatever! :)

bleachhhhhhhhhh!

Its been a long time since I watched bleach! Yesss I am an anime-manga addict!!!! proud to be! Hell I care to those who says I am childish watching those! HAHA. Eh sa maganda eh! bakit ba?! :)

I started watching bleach when I was in 4th year high I think. It was part of the afternoon shows in a TV channel! At first I am not really interested coz its shonen and DUHHHH I am a girl so romance and shoujo animes were really my loveeee! :)) But wind changed and poof after school- opened TV and watched bleach! DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNN the story is sooooooo interesting PLUS I kindaaaa like Ichigo. Not my typical bishounen crush anime boys! HAHAHA. soooo hot! LOL. But Im not in my addicted mode pa! Im not into collecting anime DVDs blah blah! 

College, my anime life has changed! I am not just watching animes in TV channels, no more selfishly owning the TV for Animax/Hero channels. I learned how to buy DVDs in Quiapo-friendly friends with the dvd vendors to have discounts- and COLLECT animes! AND BLEACH WAS ONE OF THOSE! K, wag nyo ako pahuli kasi im into pirated, HAHA no money ehhh :)) 

I watched bleach again from episode 1 to the latest. I was still up until 4am just to finish a story arc! coz you see I cannot sleep if I left my mind hanging what to happen! It will just haunt my head again and again so better stay awake finishing it than awake thinking of it! HAHAHA. So when I arrived in the latest ep! I was like, WTH! kelan ang next ep! too exciteddddd waaah! I was losing my mind like hell! hahaha. anyway, there I turned from being bleach anime addiction to bleach manga addiction! I am not a shounen manga fan back there coz I think the action will be lessened and no more thrills, but throw those reasons! I am more excited to what will happen, sooooooooo I read the mangaaa! WHO SAYS IT WAS LACKING ACTION, DUHHH when you read it, imagination RULES! and damnnnnnn BLEACH ROCKS! :P and KUROSAKI ICHIGO, gashhh marry me! :)

But those moments were temporary, 3rd year and 4th year college came, THIRD YEAR = MAJORS! , FOURTH YEAR = MAJORS + FIELD + THESIS ! Majors suck! In order to concentrate to my studies I have to lock all my anime collection in my cabinet! Cutting all internet connections in my condo to prevent manga in tempting me! yessss I know I am not good in balancing my time! thats why I have to give up something and I chose to give up my anime and manga... so goodbye bleach, goodbye naruto, goodbye one piece! HAHA I chose not to involve myself in long anime stories that will make me addicted again and again! 

BUT HELLO SUMMER! hello BLEACH AGAIN! :) I am into anime download na! mabilis at malinaw pa! HAHAHA. soooooooooo fan girling again! :) BLEACH YOU ROCK MY WORLD :)

Biyernes, Mayo 18, 2012

ha?

napansin nyo ba puro crush laman nito?? eh yun ang feel kong ilagay eh! bakit ba! haha next time na ako maglalagay ng iba! pag feel ko na! LOL. K. :*

STRAWBERRY IS CUTE! PINK IS LOVE! :)

seeing the SMILE for the first time

Paano ko nga ba nakita si new crush?

Ganito kasi yun, eh di ba nga may required summer kami. Nung una hindi ko pa sya napapansin! Akala ko nga walang pogi sa batch namin eh! HAHA, ang sama ko! whatever! basta nadedepress ako kasi wala nga akong mahagip na pogiiii! nung may fieldwork, naging medyo nakaclose ko mga groupmates ko then kinkwento ko na walang pogi and blah blah! and thereeee sabi nila "MERON"! nabuhayan ako ng loob! HAHA. sabi ko sinoooo> bakit hindi ko napansin! ako pa naman pag pogi walang nalalampasan ang aking mga pretty eyes! NYAHAHA! anyway, ayun pinakita nila ang profile. Actually nung una, hindi ko sya natripan. sabi ko parang ang mature ng itsura blah blah! basta ang choosy choosy ko masyado akala mo kung napakaganda ko eh no? HAHA. maganda ako.... sa paningin ni inay at itay! LOOOOOOOL. hahaha Ang daming side comments so ayun proceeding with the exact moment I saw himmmm......

reporting sa class. reporting regarding the things we learned in our fieldwork! turn na ng group nila. and tentenenen........ nung nagreport sya kinalabit ako ng mga groupmates ko and said sya si M&Ms (chocolate? LOL) ang pogi na sinasabi namin.... SIYEEEEEEEEEEEEET! grabe nung nagreport sya nagsmile sya ng konti and there the dimples.... the killer dimples. tinamaan ako, nakakamatay! HAHAHAHAHA. and there dyan nagstart ang aking pagkacrush sa kanya! ang cute cute cute cute talaga ng dimples and sya syempreeee! :) POGI nga sya. and the reason hindi ko sya napansin kaagad? kasi naman ang tahimik. masyado nyang iniisolate ang sarili. mysterious effect! HAHA. sabi ng mga grpmates ko na kacourse nya nung college, ganyan na daw talaga sya... hindi masyadong nakikimingle sa tao. isolated at may piling set of friends lang talaga. K. sya na! haha.whatever. :))

I like your smile :)

Dahil MEDYO malakas loob ko, medyo lang naman, nagsulat ako ng letter sa aking new med crush! :) Kasi we had a somekind of a teambuilding-retreat activity in my present school before the school starts... there was an activity to write letters with any of my batchmates who had become part of this summer activity. Incoming 1st year med ako so new school new people so parang yung summer activity na yun yung naging way to meet new people.. haba ng intro! haha. Anyway, there I wrote an anonymous letter. yes it was anonymous! DUH medyo malakas nga lang loob ko di ba? anyway ang sabi ko lang naman ehh....

Hi crush,

I like your smile. :)

SO THERE! HAHAHAHA. kalandi lang! ehh kasiiii ang pogi ng smile nya! He has dimples and bastaaaa his smile melts meee. K whatever! Crush nga lang di ba wag na maghanap ng mas malalim na reason! DUH. hindi ko pa nga nakakausap yun eh. baka nga hindi nya alam classmate niya ako and the worst baka hindi nya alam na nageexist ako sa life nya!!! HAHAHAHA. anyway, hell I care sa opinion nya. crush ko sya gusto man nya or what! wala syang choice! LOL. :)

note!

grabeeee! natawa akooo! habang nagaayos ng aking mga files sa aking lappy toppy, nakita ko ang isang file na nakasulat ang aking mini diary with my the heck encounters with my college crush. nakakatawa langgg! HAHAHAHAHA. and there, naisip kong ipost. epal lang! HAHAHAHA. wala namang makakabasa at makakaalam nito eh kaya carry lang! k. sakit sa ulo! LOL.

kalande ko pala. charrrr! :P

theme song ko kay ultimate college crush! DAFUQQQ! :P

Ito pala ang dedicated song ko para kay Mr. M, ang aking ultimate crush ever since 1st year college! J ang song na ito ay gawa at kanta ni Taylor Swift. It is cute and ang kantang to ang super nakakarelate sa akin at sa crush story ko with M! As in winiwish ko na yung encounter namin nung feb14, is 1st page ng aming love story, at hindi last! CHAROOOOOT! duhhh. Kung alam mo lang nung kinausap mo ako nilapitan, ilang araw akong bangag at kinikilig! As in blushing all the way home, dancing around all alone! It was enchanting to meet you! It is just Im enchanted to meet you! Just please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you!! <3 <3 <3

ENCHANTED

There I was again tonight,
 forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old time, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifting eyes in vacancies
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered “have we met”
Cross the moon, your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
Im wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wanted to am wide awake
And now I’m pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I’d open up and you would say
Hey, it was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
Im wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story will end
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I have at
As I was waiting to see
I was enchanted to meet you

Please, don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

Please, don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
Im wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
I was enchanted to meet you

Please, don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

My ultimate crush in college :) Part 2

last 2 years in college. :)


Mahaba haba din ang aming hindi pagkikita. Medyo nakakasad. So for 1 sem medyo nalimutan ko na crush ko sya kasi medyo busy ako sa isa kong inutil at feelers na crush! Wahahahahahaha! J so wala akong makwkwento sa 1st sem 3rd year! Lol.
Sooo ayan na 2nd sem na! ang aking pinakamamahal na sem sa lahat! (as of now kasi hindi ko pa alam baka magkagusto sa akin si M, sa sem ko na to na ang fave ko)—LOL ilusyonada! HAHA. Ito na dito ko unang naranasan ang makipagtitigan sa aking bebe loves! Eh kasi one time, nakaupo ako dun sa isa sa mga stone bench sa school. Nakatitig ako kina C at G (my friends) na nasa college lounge kumukuha ng trans. TAPOS biglang nagwawala na si C! Yung sayaw niya na kakaiba! ALAM kong pag sumasayaw siya nun crush alert! So ayun paglabas sa daan si M!!!! So ako medyo kinikilig pero lakas ng loob, tinitigan ko sya sa mata. Hindi ko sya tinantanan wahahaha! Ayon sya ang medyo nahiya! LOL. Hinawakan niya kasi ung ilong niya! Ganun kasi ang palatandaan pag nahihiya siya! Soo paano ko nalaman?! Eh di sa kakanuod ng mga singing ek ek niya pag may event ang pharm! Nanuod ksi ako sa youtube ng bagong video nya. Duet uli, tas ang kinanta niya ehh ung “falling slowly”.so ang gwapo! Haha! Tas may isang part dun na nawalan siya ng tono, tas ayun hinawakan niya ilong niya tas nagsmile! So obvious nahiya! LOL. Sooo di ba nung nagsmile sya natunaw akoooo! WAHAHAHA.
Ito isang trivia lang! commercial! May crush akong ASKALZ player. National team ng Philippines sa football. Name niya ay si Neil Etheridge! Kamuka sya ni M! Potek parehas silang gwapo at Hot! Wooooooooh! J
Ay grabe naalala ko one time. Lunch time naming nun and ung barkada kumain sa Mang inasal dun sa bandang taft. Tapos nung pabalik na kami sa school, habang papatawid kami ng taft, ay medyo sumigaw si C! Akala ko kung anu tapos sabi niya, “Secret!”, sabay turo sa isang guy! Ay grabe! Si M pala un! So medyo naghysterical na naman ako! Nawala na naman sa sarili at hindi macontain ang sarili! Super napasigaw ako at napatalon! So medyo nakakahiya! As in ang lakas pala ng sigaw ko and yung buong tao daw ehh tumingin sa akin kasi parang may nanakawan or nabundol ng sasakyan dahil sa sigaw! Ay medyo happy! As in katabi ko si JC-college friend, medyo pinapalo ko na siya sa sobrang tuwa and to the point na pwede niya na akong sabihan na, hindi kita kilala! Ay grabe nakakahiya talaga ginawa ko! Sino ba namang matinong tao ang sisigaw sa gitna ng daan dahil nakita crush niya! So ako lang yun! HAHA. So syempre nakita ko siya, eh di sinundan ko na din siya! So di ba ang hard core stalker talaga! WOOH! Grabe naglakad ako, si C at JC papuntang pharm! So medyo dinamay ko pa yung 2 kong friend! HAPPY! Lol. Sooo eh di ayan na pumasok na siya sa college niya at ako patuloy pa ding hindi macontain ang sarili! LOL
Ok ito ang pinakamasaya sa lahat ng masayang panahon ng buhay ko! February 14, 2011, Valentines day. Maaga kami pinalabas ng prof namin. Sa barkada namin, may dating something. Bunutan kami bawat isa kung sino ang magpartner at magdadate!! Ayun nabunot ko eh si R, ang pinakamamahal na boypren ni C. So suicidal! Hahaha. Ayan na, hindi kasi pumasok si R nung class namin so ako tinetext ko sya kung san na kami magdedate! Maaga kasi labas namin kaya sana pumunta na siya sa school. So ayun nakaupo ako sa college lounge, nagtetext. Hinahanap ko si A kasi makikisabay na lang ako sa kanila pag nakipagdate ako, para hindi suicidal! LOL. So tinatanung ko si MK kung nasan si A habang tinetext ang inutil kong date! Tapos pag tingin ko sa kaliwa, ay potek nakita ko si M my loves kasama si A na may hawak na roses!!! WTH! Ito na ang kinakatakutan ko! Nararamdaman ko na! soooo di ba medyo nakakahiya kasi tumakbo ako palayo sa upuan ko. Nagtago ako sa likod ng classmate ko! Ang unang lumabas sa bibig ko ehh “FUCK”.!!! Ay grabe hindi ko macontain sarili ko. As in tumatakbo akooooooo! Waaaaah nakakahiya. Tapos nung nasa gilid na kami ng lounge tinulak na ako ng mga friends ko, sabi nila, dyan ka lang! so medyo napatigil ako! Tas potek lumapit  si M tas biglang sabi --- “HAPPY VALENTINES SECRET”!!!!!!!!!!!!! poteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! OMG nagkaroon ng fireworks sa aking paligid! Sa wakas ALAM NIYA NA NAGEEXIST AKO SA BUHAY NIYA! All this time ako lang ang palaging nakatingin, ngayon alam na niya na may nageexist na Secret sa buhay niya!! Wahhh grabe! Alam mo yung feeling na 3 words and lahat yun binuo ang araw mo!!! Waaaah! Super saya ko talaga nun! Tas ayon bigla niyang inabot ang 3 synthetic roses and 1 real rose! Sooo medyo hindi na ako makahinga! Hindi ko macontain sarili ko nun. Pinapalo ko ang lahat ng tao! Sooo ayun sabi niya: “naghanda ako ng isang kanta para sa iyo, sana magustuhan mo”… tas ayon kumanta siya ng KANTA- duh hindi yan title basta sikreto mahiyain akooo! so favourite song ko na yun! As in after class dali dali ako nagdownload ng kantang yun tsaka pinakinggan buong gabi! Haha soo kanta kanta!!! Tas grabe sa gitna ng kanta bigla daw ako sumigaw ng “ OMG, kinikilig ako!”!!!! ay medyo tanga, obvious na tuloy na crush na crush ko sya! Wahahaha! Ayon so after nun. Nagpasalamat sya tas umalis! So akoooo sa isip ko gusto ko humirit na pwede pa-hug?! Kaso baka sobra na. inaabuso ko na kabaitan niya! Haha so ayon bumalik na siya sa college niya! So after nun hindi ko na mapigilan! Naiiyak ako na natutuwa! As in grabe nagtago ako sa ilalim ng lamesa SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPERRRRRR KILIG!!!!!!! Grabe pwede na akong mamatay! Wahaha! So after nun tinext ko syaa! HAHA --- so kapalan lang ng mukha. I just said na “Thank you super, Binuo mo talaga day ko! Thanks talaga”. So ang lande! Haha. Ayon nagreply sya na "thank you". OK ang vague?! Lol soooo yun ang una naming palitan ng text! Medyo kinikilig akooooo! LOL. So akala ko yun na ang huli naming pagkikita sa araw na yun! Fieldwork namin sa nutri so pupunta kami sa Baclaran. Then sasakay na kami sa LRT, eh dadaan kami ng pharm building. MEDYOOOO akala ko hindi ko sya makikita dun kasi pwedeng may class sya! Tas ay grabeeee andun sya sa labas ng building niya nakaupo at nagtetext! Soo ayan na ang mga napakababait na kaibigan.. sumigaw na “SECRET..LOLLLLL” sooo nahihiya ako! Ung papel na hawak ko tinakip ko sa muka ko tas tumakbo palabas! Sooo lahat ng mga classmate ko tinukso na ako! Galing! Ehh nakita ba naman nila ang lahat ng pangyayare sa lounge! Ay kaloka! Haha!!! Soooo eto na akala ko end na un ng aming pagkikita.! As in sabi na ni MK, “naku Secret pag nagkita pa kayo ngayon, meant to be na kayo” sooooo nung kinukuha ko trans ko ay nakita ko sya uli! Potek naglalakad! Nagtago tuloy ako sa likod ng poste.! Soo di ba ang nipis nun as if naming hindi niya ako makikita doon! HAHA. Soooooo medyo happy! MEANT TO BE KAMIII!!! Binusog ako ni Lord nung feb 14! Sabi niya, pagbigyan na ako kasi ang tagal tagal ko ng ganto! HAHA. Ayon ang next pagkikita na naming ehh ung feb17. Kaso bumibili ako ng donut nun so sulyap lang ako! After nun wala na! L sad pero pag nakikita ko pic naming dalawa magkasama sumasaya na ako! HAHA. Grabe ibang klase kahit isang pic lang na magkasama kami nawawala lahat ng kalungkutan ko! Napapalitan ng kilig at saya! Ibang klase sya! Wahaha. ADIK MUCH! Lol eh kasi naman ang mga pagkatagal tagal kong pangarap na malaman niya lang na nageexist ako sa buhay niya, ung magkaroon lang kami ng pic magkasama, kahit stolen! Natupad sa araw na iyon! Super saya! Grabe! Pag naaalala ko un! Napapangiti ako! Ambabaw man pero para sa akin isang treasured moment na un! It may only last some minutes but in my youthful heart, it feels like lifetime! J 
So medyo nakakahiya ginawa ko nung valentines day sa harap niya! GRABE! Para akong tanga! As in ayaw ko na pala sya uli makita kasi namannnnnn! NAKAKAHIYA TALAGA! Ay grabe! Ngayon ko lang narealize after watching the videos and looking the pics! SOOOOOOOOOOOO pakamatay na!! HAHA.
Add pa pala! Pinatext ko kay A si M, kung nakakahiya ba talaga ako. So yung reply nya, kunware pa! tsk alam ko nmang nakakahiya ehh! LOL.
Text niya: Haha wala un aus lng skn :-D hndi sya nkkhya pro nttawa lng ako ksi parang nttkot sya skn nung bngay k ung flowers :-P
2nd text: haha seryoso hndi tlga u: actually nkkflatter nga na nging msya sya nung bngyan k sya ng flowers J
((duhhh obvious ba? Syempre magiging masaya ako kasi binigyan ako ng flowers ng super crush ko !!!!!! )) HAHA.


          But of course hindi naman lahat nageend according to what you want you dream :( Haaaay may ibang babae na ata si M nun!!!!!! At ang masama pa nito, kapangalan ko pa! Haaaay!
 You know how did I know it? Syempre stalker nga ako di ba?! Ayun tinignan ko na naman ang kanyang profile sa FB! Ay leche pagtingin ko sa display photo niya ay picture ng cake! Gift ata ng girl sa kanya nung birthday niya, Nakalagay, happy 19th birthday…from ______! basta same name kooo! Ayyy naku! Syempre hindi niya kamag-anak un! Eh sino ba maglalagay ng pic ng cake as DP kung hindi galing sa special someone mo?! Haaay naku! Im feeling down! DEPRESSED! LLL

           But syempre wala naman akong karapatan di ba? im just his pathetic secret admirer! haha. k. whatever! so kahit may ibang girl na sya, bahala sya crush ko pa din sya! WAHAHAHAHA. One day, Nagkabunggo kami sa daan! kasi ganito yun, annual physical exam namin yun so papunta na kami ni A sa x-ray laboratory. Naglalakad kami dun sa may taft tapos may nagovertake na lalaki sa akin, alam mo yung parang may luksong puso akong naramdaman. Tapos nung tinitigan ko yung likod ng lalaking nagovertake, shet pamilyar!!!! LIKOD NI M un!! Im super positive. Coz when I see M, I know its him!! Kahit sa gitna pa sya ng maraming tao, nakatalikod or buhok lang, alam kong sya un, hahahaha. Ako na ang addict! :P anyways ayun, so to prove it was M, A looked at him when he went inside the building, so positive, sa side view, it WAS REALLY M! So hahahahaha. Ayun hindi ko na naman macontain si heart, and it was beating so fast! So hindi ko maget-over! Hahahaha ayun buti walang abnormalities na nakita ang xray! Hahahahahaha. Ayun na yun, end of lame story! :PP

Pahabollll! Alam mo ba masaya ako nung birthday ko? Kasi ginreet ako ni M kahit post lang sa FB un, super happy ko!  ganto kasi un, nasa province ako nung birthday ko so wala akong koneksyon sa world kasi no internet,,duhhh medyo wala sa kabihasnan! Haha. So yung mga nareplyan ko lang na greet eh ung mga nagtxt and call. Then ito na, tinext ako ni K na happy bday blah..blah.. syempre thank you ako, tas after bigla ako nagdrama,, sabi ko “haay hindi ako ginreet ni M, nakkadepress lang, hindi nya ako naalala. SO parang tanga pilingera!! Hahaha. Anyways so ayun, nung nakauwe na ako sa bahay. So bukas kagad ng laptop and then internet! So binasa ko yung mga nagwall post sa akin ng bday greetings, then say my thanks to them. THEN nakita ko bigla yung name na “M______” TAEEEEEEEEEE. Napasigaw ako sa tuwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Godgeeeeee, naalala niya akooOoo! Bigla ako text kay K na GINREET NIYA AKOOO! Syempre hello masaya ako dun kasi si my ultimate crush did not forget me, and greeted me! HAAAAAAAAAY. So saya! eh di ayan nagthank you. Iniisip ko kung special thank you ba, pero ung normal na “ Thank You M! God bless!”  yun lang reply ko kasi syempre baka super obvious na and magfeeling. peste! Haha. Pero alam kong alam nya na yun ever since Valentines day! :P so ayun. Masaya na ako! HAHAHAHA. <3

seeee. what a pathetic story! HAHA. isa lang napatunayan ko sa experience ko sa kanya! I AM A GHAD DAMN SEXY PRETTY AMAZING STALKER!!! SECRET ADMIRER PALAAA! haha.
Walang kwenta yan! graduate na ako ng college and now taking med in another university! haaaay at least hindi ko na sya nakikita atttt makakahanap na ako ng new crush... mali pala may bago na akong crush! HAHAHA. mamatay ka na M sa life ko! and shareeee M din start ng letter ni new crush! dafuq hilig ko sa M! HIHIHIHIHIHI. anywaaaaaay, stalker nga di ba, still visiting the profile of my ultimate college crush. ang gwapo nya lang talaga ever! HOHOHOHO. K. :)

To my ultimate crush, THANK YOU FOR THESE PAST 4 YEARS! KAHIT MOST OF IT HINDI MO AKO KILALA AT WALA NAMAN TALAGA TAYONG GANUNG INTERACTION, IKAW PA DIN ANG AKING ULTIMATE ULTIMATE CRUSH!!! FOR INSPIRING MEEEE KAHIT MASULYAPAN KA LANG HAPPY NA AKO! GANUN KALAKAS TAMA MO EH! HAHAHAHA. ANYWAYYY, BABYEEE. GOD BLESS SA LIFE! :*

My ultimate crush in college :)

HEY! :)

To my ultimate crush in college, ito ang story ko!! Ultimate kasi marami akong crush you know but IKAW ang number 1. ewan ko ba! haha. crush kita since 1st year to 4th year! KAHIT DEADMA ANG BEAUTY KO SAYO!! oh di ba ang tagal! pero kasi crush lang yun.... crush as in crush. all one sided............ drama! haha. pero crush nga lang eh! parang highschool na may crush kang poging upper year! hohohoho. walang sense na crush bastaaaa! haha Ok to start...

First year.

Una kong nakita ang crush ko noong freshman assembly. He was a Mr. freshie. OO Mr. freshie so GWAPO  siya!. (Duh, syempre pogi mga crushes ko :P) Siya ung representative ng college of pharm! Hindi ko pa alam nun syempre. At saka kasi bawal pa akong maglumandi coz I still have a boyfriend pa that time! HAHA. Ok ang lande ko. Ok. Basta nung nakita ko sya, iba lang ang effect nya. hindi ko alam kung napogi-an lang ba talaga ako! anywayyyyyy, may BF nga ako di ba kaya tamang cute langgg! Naalala ko nun that time yung tanung sa pageant na kung “kelan ang 1st kiss mo”. Ang sagot niya eh yung gf nia nung highschool sa park! Ewan tumatak sa isip ko sya. HOHO Tapos ang akala ko graduate siya ng pisay,,,iba pala yun! Haha so yun ang 1st encounter namin. AKO lang pala kasi hindi niya ako kilala, ako lang may kilala sa kanya. Soooo obvious na, ito ang tinatawag na super unrequited admiration. He did not know my existence YET! --- lol

Second year.

Naglie low ako sa pagkakacrush sa kanya kasi after ng freshman assembly, minsan minsan ko na lang siya nakikita. Then second year came!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHH nakita ko siya uli!. At lalo lang siyang gumagwapo!! Hahaha. I saw him with his white uniform… soooo ang gwapo niya talaga… nakikita ko siya pag mga breaks ko. Alam mo ung super ilaw ang paligid niya., para siyang kumikinang! Wahaha. Sa LT walk yun, may food fair that time so andun sya bumibili ng food. Naglalakad kame ni "friend 1" nun. Wala pa akong sinasabi nun na crush ko sya! HAHA. Ilang araw ko na syang nakikita palagi soooo medyo kinikilig ako. Haha. Ayun sinabi ko kay Friend 1 na crush ko ohhh…sabay turo sa kanya. So nalimutan ko mr.freshie pala sya at kilala sya ni friend 1… dun ko unang nalaman ang 1st syllable ng name niya. Tsk si Friend 1 naman kasi hindi na matandaan ang name—ang naalala nia lang ehh TOOOOOT. Soooo that whole time akala ko TOOOOOT name niya. Then si HS friend na same University as I am. Kinwento ko sa kanya, sooo di ba ex-crush pala un ng friend niya, so ang kanyang palayaw ehh “bisikleta boy”. Bakit?, kasi un ang picture niya nung mr.freshie sya. Nakabisikleta! Haha. Itsura niya pa nun, totoy na totoy,,,LOL. Anyway, May natutulong din pala ang pagiging Ms. Freshie ni Friend 1 sa akin ehhh, nakakuha siya ng pic ni “TOOOOOT”. Sooo nagsimula na ang pagiging stalker mode ko.. wahahahaha. Nakakuha ako ng sangkatutak na pic niya nung pictorial nila sa Mr. and Mrs. Freshie. Nasa old laptop ko ung pic and nadelete siya sa kasawaang palad. L pero bago pa man nadelete un napagsawaan ko naman na ehhh! HAHA. Dafuq, ako na ang creepy stalker. oh nooo pretty pala ako so secret admirer! :)
Marami kaming encounter sa isa’t isa. Like one time, eh di nasabi ko na sa halos lahat ng mga college friend ko ung crush ko. Lunch time un sa CAS. Actually gutom na gutom na ako nasa com3 class palang ako. Before lunch time un. So nung natapos na ang class bilis kagad ako sa Gab caf para bumili ng pagkain. So medyo nung nasa Gab caf ako nakita ko ang aking superrrr crush! Wahhhhhhhhhhh. Nakaupo siya sa table malapit sa smokey’s hotdog something something. Eh may vacant table sa tabi nila, so itong mga epal kong kaibigan dun umupo! MEDYOOOOOOOO hindi ako mapakali. Si Friend 2 din potek napakaingay. As in super hinihila ko sya na wag syang umupo dun at humanap kami ng ibang mauupuan. Ay nako grabe nagiingay talaga syang sobra na like— "Secret, secret” sabay turo sa kanya! Ay peste! Tapos nung papaupo na ako, pinipilit nia akong tumabi kay “TOOOOOOT”. So syempre shy, lumayo ako! Hahaha. Pero andun ako sa pwesto na nkikita ko sya ng diretso! Haha landeee. Ito namang Friend 2 na to ay SIOPAAAOOO! Alam mo ung kunwaring aakbay siya sa crush ko tapos biglang “secret, secret oh!” WTH! Nakakahiya talaga! Haha. Ito ang malala, ang nagugutom kong tiyan potek nawalan ng gana nung nakita ang aking baby loves! Waaaah. Ang gutom na gutom na ako, naconscious bigla at hindi na makasubo! Alam mo ung feeling na un. Feeling mo nasusuka at walang gana! Na nakatitig lang ako kay Crush the whole time! Wahhhhhhhhh. That time was so precious talaga sakin! As in kinekwnto ko pa siya kay HS friend nun! HAHA.
Tapos ito na! malalaman ko na sa wakas ang whole name nia! ONDOY un. Exam namin sa bio22 sa umaga tas chem18 sa hapon. After kong kumuha ng exam sa bio 22 medyo lubog na ang parking lot sa cas. Pababa ako ng gab staircase tapos aun nagliwanag uli ang aking mundo, nakita ko si “crush”! at ito pa katabi at kausap niya ang isa sa mga shiftee ng pharm to our college, si J! Kaya pala sya andun ehh kumukuha din sya ng chem 18 sa mga oras na un. Ehh di ba exam dapat, pero dahil bumabagyo napostpone! Lol. Ok back to my story. Ayan katabi niya si J, sabi ko kay Friend 3,,,”Friend 3 ung crush kooooo”!!!!! tapos napatingin c Friend 3, so sabi niya GWAPO di ba?!! Haha. Told yah gwapo ang baby loves ko! Sooo sabi niya, alamin natin name, katabi niya ksi si J. So itong si Friend 3, tinawag si J! Sabi ba naman niya, “J, anu name ng kausap mo?, pinapatanung ni B?!”. Who the hell is B?! OO, ako un, un ang code name ko pag nagtatanung kami ng info kay J about my baby loves.! Sooo aun sinabi ni Julian. Ang pangalan niya ay…tintenenannnn…(drum rolls)…. M-----O C---G,  “M---Y” for short. . Sooo hail to J! Dahil sa kanya nalaman ko name niya! Weeeheee! At dun ko din nalaman na super close friends pala sila ni J, Nung pharm pa si J. Aun naaaa! Pag physics time din minsan ginugulo namin si J para magtanung! Tanung namin kung may GF ba siya ngayon? Soo talagang tinanung ko eh nu..lololol. ang sagot naman niya ehh WALA daw! Woohooo single and waiting for me. I know! LOL. Ang alam lang ni J eh may GF sya dati kaso nagkalabuan daw! Tsk well ganun talaga, dadating kasi ako sa buhay ni M ehh! Dapat lang sila magbreak! Lol. FEELERSSSSSSJ
After that, I made my research na about him! Lol ako na ang dakilang stalker! J as in pina-add ko sa aking bestfriend MD sya sa Friendster. OO uso pa that time ang FS, sisikat pa lang FB nun! Haha. Ayun ito si MD nalaman ko sa kanya na ANIME addict din pala ang aking bebe loves! As in like niya ang conan super pati naruto! Ok mayron na kaming connection! Hurray! :P soo pati pics niya sa FS dinownload niya tas sinend sa yahoo mail ko! Galing! Pero ayos lang! lol. So ayon ung picture niya ehh ung parang gradeschool pa ata sya. Potek ang totoy na totoy pa talaga. Pero gwapo pa din sya! Bwahahahaha! Ayon ung mga pics na iyong were in my laptop till feb.14 2011. Haha nakatime pa talaga! Lol At wait dun ko din nalaman na hindi pala sya Pisay, san beda alabang pala sya. Woi may connection na uli kami kasi isa sa mga gradeschool classmate ko classmate niya nung highschool sa san beda! Haha. So pinagpilitan lang! LOL. Anyways ang dami ko nalaman talaga! Thanks to internet! Pati cellphone number niya! At panu ko nalaman? Sa internet! My stalking abilities nga naman oh! Hohohohoho. One time his pic ginawa kong wallpaper sa Cellphone. Medyo obsessed na ako! Lol. (CREEPY HERE!) Kasi may paniniwala na kapag ginawa mong wallpaper ang pic ng crush mo tas sa 1 week walang nakadiscover, magkakatuluyan kayo! Weh nako nakita ng isa kong HS friend nung debut ng isa kong kaibigan! FAIL! haha
Maraming natulong si internet! Kung may cupid, ngaun may internet! Haha. Pero dahil din sa internet kaya ako unang nakaramdam ng “HEARTBREAK”. Tsk tsk tsk, ayan ang napapala pag sobra ang nareresearch ehh! Sa kakahanap ng mga info sa internet, I came to this page. Scribd ata un. Para siyang site na maguupload ng mga files. Ang nakita ko eh parang novel made by M’s highschool friend and the story is about him and I think his “ex”. Nung una malay ko bang ganun ang laman eh di sana hindi ko na binasa kasi masasaktan lang ako! L ayon ako nacurious kung anu laman. So binasa ko naman. Medyo nahurt ako! Kwento pala ung ng lovelife ni M. About her girlfriend. Sa story ikakasal na ata sila tas may mga ekek na twist, tsk pero sa huli sila din naman nagkatuluyan. Pwede ba! Malayo un sa katotohanan kasi andito pa ako! Hindi ako makapapayag! Haha. Palaban epek pa ehh pero actually that time medyo naiiyak ako! Ay naiyak ako! Potek medyo mababaw! HAHA. Pero totoo, naloloka ako! Naglike ako sa FB na about sa “stalk kasi ng stalk, ayan kung anu anu tuloy ang nalalaman at ikaw din ang nasasaktan”! haaay naku ewan! Lol. Pero syempre hindi ako papaapekto dun! Kaya tuloy pa din ang pagcrush ko sa kanya!
Then one day medyo naglie low uli ako kasi nakakita ako ng ibang crush! LOL ako na ang malande! Nagkaroon ako ng bagong crush! Crush ko siya nung 2nd year, 2nd sem pero wala na un! Epal ung panget na guy na un! Feelers! Wahahaha. Anyways intermission lang un! Crush ko pa din naman si M ehh! Tsk may one time kaya naisipan kong gayumahin si M! Haha, pero joke kasi un! Hindi pa naman ako desperado para gawin un! Tsk, im pretty. Magugustuhan niya din ako 1 day, at hindi pa un ngayon! LOL. Anyways ang sabi namin, sa feb 14 ng 2010, gagawa kami ng chocolate ni Friend 3 tas ibibgay namin un sa aming mga respective crushes.  Hindi na namin natupad un kasi ewan! Haha!
There is one time na nagdidissect kami ng cat sa 3rd floor RH. Sa bandang biolab! Ehh nagbibio22 pala sya soo may tinitignan siya sa room niya. Sooo medyo kinikilig pa din ako! Lol. Haay naku syempre as usual andyan na naman ang mga kaibigang maiingay! Ay grabe, sumisigaw sila ng “SECRET. SECRET. SECRET” ako talaga maloloka na! gusto ko na sila patayin. Nung nawala na si M, sabi ko bakit kayo Sumisigaw????! Maloloka na talaga akoooo! Ang sabi lang nila, “wala lang, para malaman naman niya name mo at ikaw si secret”. LOL. Ay grabe!
Tas kami ni Friend 4 nasa labas ng bio lab room namin. Tas nung pumasok ako sa room para may tignan, OK nakita ko ang name na C---G (apelyido nya) sa isa sa mga formalinized frog! OMG, ang frog na un ay pag-aari ng M my bebe! Hinawakan niya un! Soo sumigaw ako at tinawag si Friend 4! Sabi ko, “Friend 4 Friend 4”!!! waaah tae kinikilig ako! Nakita ko ang palaka na dinissect ni M! OMG may connection uli kami! Wahahahaha! So ito namang si Friend 4, walang reaksyon, sabi niya lang-“SO”! ay grabe supportive friend! LOL.
OO nga pala I forgot, my crush is an ex-chorale member sa school ko! So in short isa syang napakagaling kumanta! Waaah nakakainlab talaga voice niya! swear!!! Ang unang video ni M na natanggap ko ay galing kay K-my Hs friend na same university ko din! Si K ay isang pharm student din so in short ka-college niya si M my loves! So aun nung Christmas, ang gift niya sa akin ay isang video habang kumakanta si M! Duet siya pero hindi na kelangan imention ang girl kasi unnecessary! Ako ang bida dito! Lol. Ayan na, ung video akala ko conan! Tapos ang nakalagay sa 1st ep eh ung video ni M! Ang kanta ehh yung “two is better than one” by boys like girls and taylor swift! Ay potek ang gwapo ng boses niya! Nakakainlabbbb! So aun nagsawa ako sa kapapanuod sa kanya dun kahit silhouette niya lang ang nakikita dun! HAHA. So after nun, nagstart na akong magresearch sa youtube ng mga videos niya! Lol. Ang nakuha ko lang ehh ung kanta niya na “how deep is your love” kasama ang mga other pharm boys and kuya P. Mamaya ko na kekwento kung sino si kuya P. Haha. Ah basta nakakainlove ang boses nia sa kantang un! Grabe nakakamesmerize! Ang linya na lagi niyang solo eh ung part na “And you come to me on the summer breeze, keep you warm…..and its me you need to show” basta dun sa part na un! Hindi ko na memorize ehh! HAHA.
Ayan na. Sino ba si Kuya P? Si Kuya P eh ung 1 year ahead sa amin na industrial pharmacy student! Ganto kasi un. Isang friend ko na si I, kasama ko sya pag iniistalk namin si M. Alam ko kasi ung room ni M sa mga oras na un. Eh break namin so tumatambay kami dun sa mini lobby ng gab malapit sa bat cave. Andun kasi ang next class ni M ko! In short inaabangan ko si M sa labas ng room niya. Umaasang makikita ko siya doon! Haha So medyo hard core stalker ako! LOL. So ayun! Ehh that time kampanya para sa student council. So dito pumasok ang gwapong gwapo na si kuya P. HAHA. Tinanung niya kasi kame kung pharm student kami kasi nakatambay kami kasama ang pharm students dun! LOL. Sabi namin hindi, so umalis na siya. Pag-alis niya sabi naming ni I- “kuya para sayo magiging pharm kami” LOL. Naglulumande ako sa harap ni M! Tsk tsk. Bad bad! Lol ayan ang napapala pag nag-aabang ng crush, napapagkamalang pharm din! LOL. So aun naging crush ko si kuya P ng 1 day! Ito pa pala ang malala, di ba alam na ni K na patay na patay ako kay M, potek pati pagkacrush ko kay kuya P nalaman niya! Eh kasi itong si I ang daldal. Kinwento niya sa isang pharm friend niya na may crush ako sa 2 pharm! So medyo happy! Eh itong pharm friend niya, nag-GM ba naman sa buong barkada niya sa pharm na --- “may isang girl sa course na __ na may crush kay M at kuya P na to the point na gusto na mag-shift”.!! WEHHH ang OA di ba?! Kahit gaano ako patay na patay kay M, hindi ko pa naiisip na magsuicide! HELLO suicidal kaya sa pharm! Haha! Kaya nga ang HOT ni M ehh kasi pharm siya! WAHAHA. Anyways ang point ko kasi isa sa mga nakasama sa GM ehh si K! Soo di ba ang alam niya lang patay na patay ako kay M, pero kay kuya P,,, DUH si M lang kasiii! HAHA.

To be continued... :)